RIP Mama on 2008-08-29
So, yeah. I can't remember if I wrote about this or not but my Grandma had a heart attack about a couple of months ago and has been in hospital ever since. I've visited her quite a bit regardless of the two hour journey to get there, but slowly we've been watching her deteriorate over the last couple of weeks. It's been horrible to say the least- not being able to understand what she says and watching her squirm under hospital covers.
She died this afternoon. I don't really know how to react because I was out with friends at the time and honestly I wish I was still there. It's just awful at home, no one's talking and I've eaten just enough food for a small village.
I hate the fact that I've been making jokes about what happened to my friends. I hate the fact that my sister thinks I don't have a heart because I haven't broken down into tears. I hate the fact that the last time I saw her I gave her a patronising wave. I hate that my way of dealing with difficult situations is by not dealing with it.
I want to go home, or wherever my heart is because I'm not comfortable here at the moment.
This feels horrible. But I love you enough to not say goodbye.
Rosie xxxx